Praying & Trusting.

Honestly, I was very discouraged after my last post. I don’t even want to write now, but I have this heavy burden I can’t shake to share with everyone back home. If for know other reason than to help you understand & call God’s people to constant prayer. Great way to start a post I now - know everyone really wants to read! Haha, oh well I'm just trying to be honest. After my last blog asking for support for a baby literally abandoned on the streets, I got a lot of “we are praying for you – you are doing a great job” messages. And right now I wish I could add: and all the money to support baby Hope was raised! But I can’t – not even $5 was offered to help this child from back home. I’m really struggling right now. I feel stuck between two worlds: East Cobb and East Africa.

One side of me says: the people back home have already sacrified their money to get me here – how can I ask for more? I can see God moving so much – I know I am called to be here. So many children have given their lives to Christ because they’ve never had anyone tell them there is a difference between attending Bible Study & Church and accepting Jesus in their hearts. The Lord brought me here to do that – I am humbled – I am grateful – I am joyful. To hold crying children, speak the Lords love over them and they don’t have to fear abuse or hunger anymore. The Lord is good! 67 of the 87 children at Tumaini have sponsors – and enough other donors have given that we have clean water, our own school (so primary education can be provided even for the ones without sponsors), electricity most days, and every child has atleast 2 outfits and a pair of shoes. Praise Jesus for how He is saving these children from poverty and hopelessness! Truly He is giving them a hope and a future full of His goodness!

My other side cries: the people here outside our walls are so desperate. So many sick from dirty water. So many without proper clothes or food. So many without school fees. So many who can’t afford medicine when their children are sick – so they watch helplessly as their children die. People I’ve met like Alice – a single mom who is one of the cooks here. She works everyday (7 days a week) 5am-9pm – and she is grateful! She is constantly sick from the smoke and hoping one day to start her own salon so she won’t always be sick and can have alteast 2 hours each night to spend with her children. But to raise the funds to start that is almost impossible for her – she is barely getting by now. How will she save? What future do these people have? If I were to beg everyone at home to empty their savings accounts there would still not be enough money. Lord, why are there so many suffering? Lord, why do the poor always have to be with us? Lord, why can’t I fix it all? Lord, why don’t YOU fix it all? What is the purpose? I’m begging you to keep my heart from the anger rising inside of me. I know you are not cruel. I know you are loving. I know Your ways are better than my ways. Help me Lord, my heart and mind are desperate to understand why this deep pain & poverty exist. Save us Lord. Give us Hope. Give us Love. Give the hungry food, the thirsty clean water, and the sick healing. Give us You. You provided manna from the sky and water from rocks for your people in the desert– bring such a revolution again to Your people in Kenya.

The Kenyan people have so much hope and joy I’m humbled daily. Allow me to share with you about a widow who lives near Tumaini – her grandchildren come here for day school and I just love this family. I was blessed to visit a home Heart for Africa is building for her to move into. I have watched a group of widows dancing and shouting praises to God because a home was provided for one of their poorest – I danced and sang too. Then they took me to her current home. I wouldn’t call it a home, I’d call it a walk in closet. She slept their with her two grandchildren on potato sacks. The same room to cook, use the bathroom (hole in the corner but no water to flush), and sleep. She’s lived this way for 10 years since her husband died. I wonder if the Lord called me to live that way for 10 years if I would still sing His praises? I want to say yes. Right now honestly I’m too scared to pray for this kind of faith because then I fear the Lord will put my in the same situation to grow my faith. Lord, forgive my weaknesses. I have a video of them singing I hope to post next time I travel into town where the internet is strong enough.

Please – this is not another cry for more money from your wallets. After hearing nothing for Hope I decided not to post anymore specific needs and their costs. That is not the purpose of this blog. The purpose of this blog is to connect people to the experiences I’m having as I walk this crazy road with Jesus. I have written down a list of the biggest needs I’ve seen here – 7 things – and I am only speaking to My King about them. Please, pray with me. The overall themes I ask for prayers is for God’s love to heal every broken heart and for salvation of the people here. Pray that God will save the other children who have not been rescued from the streets or abusive homes to be saved soon. And also please pray with me that the other homes that are struggling so much would grow in favor like Tumaini. If you feel called to give I would certainly be joyful to help you do so – but I’m done trusting in American wallets. Please don’t be offended, I am truly grateful for the money already sacrificed…I wouldn’t be here if people back home hadn’t already financially supported me – and I was able to raise alittle extra so I can atleast met a few needs of the people here. I’m trusting in God of the Universe, the Great Love, the Savior, the King to hear my cries and to provide. He answers prayers. Maybe to my American way of thinking the answers seem too slow – but if He is as loving and powerful as I know He is – I know He will. I have seen the Lord do so much – how can I lose faith now? I refuse to lose faith. I refuse to let Satan manipulate me to be angry or hopeless. As Christians we are not victims of the world, we are VICTORS. And I have the Victory of Jesus Christ inside me! Heaven on earth Lord – please bring it soon!