I'm a hustler, baby

Feelin like making this blog on the lighter side, deeper thoughts maybe coming soon?

So many people I meet here can speak 2-3 languanges: 1) their tribal language 2) Swahili 3) English. I’ve learned alittle Kikuyo (the tribal language I’m around the most) alittle more Swahili, but I’m proud to say I feel I am fluent in Kenyan English. Yes, I do think Kenyan English is totally different from American English (especially in the villages) – ask my parents as it always takes me a few minutes to adjust back to an English they understand when they call. I’m hoping by the end of this blog you will be able to speak Kenya English too.

At first I was wondering why I was having so much trouble communicating with the people who could speak English. I’ve decided its because we speak two different languages. I adapted to the accent – which is kinda British/Candaian/something else I can’t describe as they pronounce “l” and “r” the exact same. I adapted to changing my questions from English grammar to Swahili grammar (ex/ “Thomas is where?” instead of “Where is Thomas?”), and use british words like rubbish. Learned other words like “shamba” which means garden in Swahili but everyone insists its an English word. Some changes can be quiet funny though and provide a lot of entertainment as I talk to people here.

For example I can honestly say, “I’m a hustler who just flashed someone and I’m going to look for hookers.” Haha, translation from Kenyan English “I’m a white person who can ride public buses by herself, I just called someone, and I’m going to look for street vendors selling second hand items.” Let’s see what else is there?

“You’re smart” – this has nothing to do with intelligence but means “you look nice”
And the answer to just about every question is “fine” or “good.” Even when I asked my friend how his day was after attending a funeral he said “good.”

I think that’s enough for today as I’m starting to remember the horror that grammar had in my past school days, especially AP Literature Grammar, except to end to say one of my favorite things here they say a lot, even in normal conversation, is “Praise God” and everyone responds “Amen.” Praise God.

Rhema - the living Word

For the past two weeks I’ve been living at Rhema Children’s Home. This home is smaller and much poorer than Tumaini. There is no water on site, but atleast its not too long a walk to fetch water & we can fetch from a tap so the dirt is not so much. There are 25 children here. The boys dorm is made of a wooden frame and cardboard walls. There is a need for a new kitchen as they use firewood and the smoke is incredible. Also, some of the land they use is not their own and they are under threat of the owners returning for it at any moment. However, for the first time since I’ve been at Kenya I can say I feel at home. I have one more week here and don’t want to leave! Anyone who knows me well knows I am really not a morning person, but here I rush to get up at 5:30am every morning to go help make breakfast just so I can see the children a few minutes before they go to school. Afterwards I come to get myself ready, pray, and help with chores around the home. The kids call me “Auntie” and I really feel a part of this family. My heart melts everytime I see their smiles. Life here is poorer and harder than anything I’ve ever known, but the crazy thing to me is how much JOY and LOVE God showers on us each day. Every night before supper we have prayers. We start with some praise songs, then everyone goes into prayers. Its an incredibly powerful time to see them worship, praise, and pray. To watch these children in torn and stained clothes kneeling in the dirt floor begging and literally sometimes crying to God to bless their sponsors back in the States, its unreal. I feel like such a spoiled child here as I miss toilets and showers (all I’m gonna say is a port-a-potty at a crowded rock concert would be a pleasant improvement), and I remember Chic-fil-a, Moes, and washing machines. Atleast I can finally say I’ve actually grown to like ugali and cabbage for dinner – praise Jesus – since we eat that 5 nights a week!

The worst physical condition I’ve lived in personally, but joy and love and purpose in everyday, just as much as when I was back at home on staff at MBSM. Its not that I feel I’m living more for the Lord now that I’ve given up comforts and living among the poor in a foreign land. My joy is not more during prayer or games here than it was during TMB or DNOW – which surprises me alittle because maybe I was expecting that subconsciously. But my JOY for the Lord, my clarity in living out His PURPOSE for me (currently striving to live out the Word James 1:27), is the SAME living among poor and needy in Africa as it was serving Him among the wealthy in East Cobb – don’t you just love the craziness of Jesus? The fact I can even be sitting in a house made of cardboard walls and dirt floors in Africa and type something to reach my friends and family half way across the world – and then the fact He knows every single person’s name and amount of hairs on their head from here to there and made everything and is in control of everything – I’m overwhelmed at how BIG and GREAT He is and that He loves us – Jesus is just crazy different and so far above us and I love Him for it!

These children have been so cruelly rejected in this world – and I’m in love with Jesus for giving them His joy, love, peace, and grace everyday. Many have lost their parents to AIDS, some have grown up on the streets, some parents are too sick or poor to properly care for them – so they are here. Peris & her sister, the house moms, literally just started to open her home to these children despite their own struggles. Peris & these children remind me everyday what joy in the Lord is and everyday they see as a precious gift from Him despite their circumstances. My prayer for people back home is to know this love and joy Jesus has for us without having to be so cruelly rejected by the world. That we won’t have to have life circumstances force “worldly living and focus” upon us, but we can joyfully lay down every little part of our lives to unlock the secrets of the joy these children and caretakers show me everyday. Rhema means “the living Word” in Swahili – and the people here do exactly that. They live the Word. They choose to rejoice and cling to Jesus every second despite any circumstances thrown their way. As they were torn shoes and sweaters and sleep in cardboard rooms in the cold of night, they choose to rejoice. Lord, may I choose also – may we choose also – whatever happens, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

Isaac.

When you have almost the exact schedule everyday life can become so routine and regular – I just get in the rhythm of doing everything – and then something happens that reminds me, "Oh yeah, I’m living in Africa!" For example, a few days ago one of the 10 year old boys here I’m close to – Isaac – killed a huge crow by throwing a stone at it while it fly by. Isaac followed the bird until it fell and then proceeded to strut around with it while all the other boys followed. I laughed so hard, it seemed like I was in Peter Pan watching the Lost Boys. Isaac saw me and pretended to throw the bird at me as it was still crooking & weezing out its last breathes. I asked what he was going to do with the bird, he said, “Eat it! It’s meat!” We haven’t had meat in a few weeks (God bless the person who donates for meat once a month to the home by the way!) and I wondered if he really would eat it. I didn’t have to wait long. The boys took the bird behind a shed and curiosity drove me to follow. They ripped the wings off and started playing with them like toys. Then they ripped the legs off and defeathered them to expose the meat. As I was working up the courage to hold a leg one of the boys was offering to me, I saw Isaac take an axe and chop the bird’s head off. It was that moment I it really struck me – “Yep, I’m living in Africa!” Can you imagine seeingsomeone do this on the streets of Marietta? Haha, how much I wish I could bring all these boys back home with me! So anyway, the boys continued to drain the blood and defeather the bird like pros. That is when I realized there were totally serious about eating it. Unfortunately I was called away to help somewhere else so I am not sure exactly what happened after this – but I do know all the boys arrived about 15 minutes late to Bible Study with huge grins on their faces –whatever they had just done they thought was totally worth the scolding they got for being late.

Isaac, like many of the boys here, was a street child. He was able to survive by stealing & sniffing glue. The bottom of his feet are burned horribly because the boys would steal and then run through places on the street where there was fire because the police would never run through the fire after them. Its so hard and heartbreaking to imagine all that Isaac, and the other street children, have gone through. Many of them shared one blanket with holes in it and used rocks for pillows at night. Abandoned on their own in the streets of cities where even I am afraid to walk alone at night as an adult. When Isaac first arrived at the home he was so high off glue he jumped off the boys dorm (then one story) thinking he could fly. All the staff said they thought he was dead as he landed on a pile of huge stones, but he walked away without a scratch. Apparently he used to also steal cokes from the duka and then use the bottles to hit some of the other boys. As I look into his eyes now I can barely imagine him doing these things. Everyday he runs up to me and jumps on my back or gives me a hug. He is so loving, so sweet, so tender. He always makes sure to share, whether he has just killed a bird or is playing a game with the other kids. I really love this boy so much and can’t imagine having to leave him – but I praise my God who will always be with Isaac!

Whenever I visit the cities here as see the street children, I see his face in every begging boy and I can’t help but pray and give. Looking at his smiling face I’m struck with awe as I literally see God’s loving pursuit and redemption of His children so clearly. The Lord has so clearly sung His love over Isaac’s life and shown Himself as Savior! Isaac is always so proud and eager to share in Bible Study – speaking with a confidence that humbles me daily: “Yes, I totally understand God loved me first and I didn’t deserve it” and “I want to live everyday for God and never do anything again that breaks His heart again” and “Can we pray for the other street children and people who don’t know God’s love?” As you read this today I hope you are reminded of how much God loves you! We are all Isaacs, in desperate need of a Loving Savior & Mighty Redeemer. And our God is mighty to save! All praise, glory, and honor to our King!!!

(Baby Hope update: We finally found a trustworthy doctor to test her for HIV as that is a big reason babies are abandoned here - SHE IS NEGATIVE PRAISE GOD! Also, 6 months worth of support has been raised and she is up on the Heart for Africa site for sponsorship PRAISE JESUS. She is healthy, she is happy, and most importantly she is in His hands - thank you for your prayers and love for her!)

Luxuries.

I remember when Gaylyn was talking with me on how much money I would need to raise for my time in Africa. We were sitting outside Café Paris sipping coffee, chatting, and watching all the cars go buy in a Publix parking lot – wow that world seems so far away to me now! Anyway, she had said after airfare I would only need to raise $10 a day for the necessities – food, water, shelter. Then she said, “And if you want the luxuries like soap and toilet paper and things, maybe $12 a day is a good goal.” I think I choked alittle sipping my coffee. I had never before thought of soap & toilet paper as luxuries. To me luxuries were things like nice cars, an iPOD, a new dress for a dance or Easter, going to an IMAX movie, a week at the beach – not soap or toilet paper. You need those things to stay clean!

Fortunately I was able to raise enough money that I not only continue to use toilet paper and soap – but also toothpaste, sunscreen, bugspray, shampoo, a cell phone, a flashlight, a towel, a razor, laundry soap, daily vitamins, hand sanitizer, internet, and contact solution. Even once or twice a week I buy a coke or a piece of fruit to add a little variety in my diet when I can walk to the duka (tiny store – like a booth made with sticks and mud on the side of the road where they sell small things). I still laugh thinking how this list looks like such a normal grocery list from my life in the States. But now I have a better understanding – to most people in the world, these items are luxuries. The children’s home here is at least able to provide every child & staff member with a toothbrush, a towel, soap for the bucket shower, and soap for laundry. But I see them struggling when it comes to toilet paper, flashlights (remember some nights we don’t have electricity so it is DARK after about 7:30), daily vitamins, and toothpaste. And then there are the poor people beyond our walls who have not been saved from poverty yet, these items are more than luxuries to our most of our neighbors – they are impossibilities. Something only the “rich” can afford. Can you imagine?

I remember talking to so many youth back home who think they are poor because their parents can’t buy a North Face jacket every year, or nice car for them or spend as much money on their birthday party as you would see on Sweet Sixteen. The fact is – if we have food to eat everyday, clean water, access to health care, clothes, and shelter – in the world’s eyes we are rich. That means even us here at Tumaini – we are rich. The home still has struggles by our standards, don’t get me wrong. Struggles in providing school fees for their high schoolers & 2 university students. Struggles in providing nourishing foods for the children. Some days we have water and electricity – some days we don’t. But one of the biggest shifts for me in my thinking is changing from seeing this as a home of the poor (by East Cobb standards) to a home of the rich (by the world’s standards).

So here are God’s standards on which I hope to live not only the rest of my time in Africa by, but the rest of my life. That is the big challenge I think – how will I live when I go back home? I still use soap and toilet paper and look forward a family vacation and cheeseburgers again. While I hope the Lord doesn’t call me to lay those things down, I pray even more that if He does I will do so cheerfully knowing He has a greater purpose. We know money is not evil – I have seen peoples donations do so much good here. But the love of money – that is the one that creeps into our minds and hearts and deceives us. I pray the Lord will always help me keep my heart PURE and I would realize everything I have is a gift from HIM and He calls me to be a good steward of His blessings. This not only includes sharing things – honestly, more important is to share our knowledge, love, and relationship of Jesus with others. My prayer right now is no matter where I live in the world, I will always live by these two scriptures:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10

“Two things I ask you O Lord…give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I might have too much and disown you and say, “Who is Lord?” Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” – Proverbs 30:7-9

I also pray for me (and everyone reading this) not to be blinded by physical need so much that we forget about spiritual need. I see people here living off of spiritual food everyday – where there are people at home eating at Chilis or Moes who are spiritually dead. We can never forget, brothers and sisters, this world is not our home. Please, always have compassion on the poor & starving – but also always have compassion on those spiritually starving or dead. God’s love is real – and it saves us from a fate worse than anything we can experience on this earth.

Praying & Trusting.

Honestly, I was very discouraged after my last post. I don’t even want to write now, but I have this heavy burden I can’t shake to share with everyone back home. If for know other reason than to help you understand & call God’s people to constant prayer. Great way to start a post I now - know everyone really wants to read! Haha, oh well I'm just trying to be honest. After my last blog asking for support for a baby literally abandoned on the streets, I got a lot of “we are praying for you – you are doing a great job” messages. And right now I wish I could add: and all the money to support baby Hope was raised! But I can’t – not even $5 was offered to help this child from back home. I’m really struggling right now. I feel stuck between two worlds: East Cobb and East Africa.

One side of me says: the people back home have already sacrified their money to get me here – how can I ask for more? I can see God moving so much – I know I am called to be here. So many children have given their lives to Christ because they’ve never had anyone tell them there is a difference between attending Bible Study & Church and accepting Jesus in their hearts. The Lord brought me here to do that – I am humbled – I am grateful – I am joyful. To hold crying children, speak the Lords love over them and they don’t have to fear abuse or hunger anymore. The Lord is good! 67 of the 87 children at Tumaini have sponsors – and enough other donors have given that we have clean water, our own school (so primary education can be provided even for the ones without sponsors), electricity most days, and every child has atleast 2 outfits and a pair of shoes. Praise Jesus for how He is saving these children from poverty and hopelessness! Truly He is giving them a hope and a future full of His goodness!

My other side cries: the people here outside our walls are so desperate. So many sick from dirty water. So many without proper clothes or food. So many without school fees. So many who can’t afford medicine when their children are sick – so they watch helplessly as their children die. People I’ve met like Alice – a single mom who is one of the cooks here. She works everyday (7 days a week) 5am-9pm – and she is grateful! She is constantly sick from the smoke and hoping one day to start her own salon so she won’t always be sick and can have alteast 2 hours each night to spend with her children. But to raise the funds to start that is almost impossible for her – she is barely getting by now. How will she save? What future do these people have? If I were to beg everyone at home to empty their savings accounts there would still not be enough money. Lord, why are there so many suffering? Lord, why do the poor always have to be with us? Lord, why can’t I fix it all? Lord, why don’t YOU fix it all? What is the purpose? I’m begging you to keep my heart from the anger rising inside of me. I know you are not cruel. I know you are loving. I know Your ways are better than my ways. Help me Lord, my heart and mind are desperate to understand why this deep pain & poverty exist. Save us Lord. Give us Hope. Give us Love. Give the hungry food, the thirsty clean water, and the sick healing. Give us You. You provided manna from the sky and water from rocks for your people in the desert– bring such a revolution again to Your people in Kenya.

The Kenyan people have so much hope and joy I’m humbled daily. Allow me to share with you about a widow who lives near Tumaini – her grandchildren come here for day school and I just love this family. I was blessed to visit a home Heart for Africa is building for her to move into. I have watched a group of widows dancing and shouting praises to God because a home was provided for one of their poorest – I danced and sang too. Then they took me to her current home. I wouldn’t call it a home, I’d call it a walk in closet. She slept their with her two grandchildren on potato sacks. The same room to cook, use the bathroom (hole in the corner but no water to flush), and sleep. She’s lived this way for 10 years since her husband died. I wonder if the Lord called me to live that way for 10 years if I would still sing His praises? I want to say yes. Right now honestly I’m too scared to pray for this kind of faith because then I fear the Lord will put my in the same situation to grow my faith. Lord, forgive my weaknesses. I have a video of them singing I hope to post next time I travel into town where the internet is strong enough.

Please – this is not another cry for more money from your wallets. After hearing nothing for Hope I decided not to post anymore specific needs and their costs. That is not the purpose of this blog. The purpose of this blog is to connect people to the experiences I’m having as I walk this crazy road with Jesus. I have written down a list of the biggest needs I’ve seen here – 7 things – and I am only speaking to My King about them. Please, pray with me. The overall themes I ask for prayers is for God’s love to heal every broken heart and for salvation of the people here. Pray that God will save the other children who have not been rescued from the streets or abusive homes to be saved soon. And also please pray with me that the other homes that are struggling so much would grow in favor like Tumaini. If you feel called to give I would certainly be joyful to help you do so – but I’m done trusting in American wallets. Please don’t be offended, I am truly grateful for the money already sacrificed…I wouldn’t be here if people back home hadn’t already financially supported me – and I was able to raise alittle extra so I can atleast met a few needs of the people here. I’m trusting in God of the Universe, the Great Love, the Savior, the King to hear my cries and to provide. He answers prayers. Maybe to my American way of thinking the answers seem too slow – but if He is as loving and powerful as I know He is – I know He will. I have seen the Lord do so much – how can I lose faith now? I refuse to lose faith. I refuse to let Satan manipulate me to be angry or hopeless. As Christians we are not victims of the world, we are VICTORS. And I have the Victory of Jesus Christ inside me! Heaven on earth Lord – please bring it soon!

HOPE

As I was praying about the new direction God was calling me in my life, the theme & word of HOPE came up over & over. The word came over and over in my prayers and in Scriptures I was reading. Even one of the most tangible ways was while I was serving on a Student Mission Trip to Ecuador, asking Jesus how I could prepare for my time coming up to serve in Africa, a high-school student made me a bracelet of leftover wire we were using to build the second floor of a school with the word HOPE. Then I found out the children’s home I was going to was named Tumaini, which is HOPE in Swahili. But upon arriving at Tumaini, I found the Lord also had another reason I was to pray for Hope.

We both arrived the same day at Tumaini Children’s Home in Kenya, but both have very different stories. I arrived showered, well-fed, healthy, with clean clothes and 2 suitcases full of luggage. She arrived dirty, hungry, sick, with nothing but a urine-soaked outfit and a blanket. My arrival had been long awaited, and I was so smiling and happy to finally arrived to live with the children and staff I had been praying about for so long. Her arrival was a complete surprise, and she couldn’t stop crying as she was surrounded by strange & unknown faces.

You see Hope arrived an abandoned baby literally found in a ditch by one of the schoolchildren who was walking home (Tumaini also has a school that people of the community can pay to send their children to help the home in financial support). The police were contacted and told to bring her to our home for a few days until they could either track down her family or take her to a baby home. Normally this home only has ages 2-18, but looking into her precious face the staff could not refuse. New clothes, blankets, medicine, and diapers were donated by the staff members. The staff women & older girls at the home take turns feeding, playing, cleaning, and sleeping with the child as she is so young she requires constant 24-7 care. Watching the older girls, many who have never known love from their own mothers, loving on this baby girl seems to me to be one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring ways I have seen Jesus’ love radiating from people. The staff & older girls have sacrificed their own money to provide food, medicine, and diapers for Hope these past two and half weeks. They have also sacrificed their work/school breaks to take care of her. They have given so lovingly. Hope now has a smile on her face so many times and is finally starting to look a healthy weight and overcoming sickness from all the love and care she has been shown by Tumaini Children’s Home. But there is an issue of custody & finances. I’m told the home can apply for custody of the child from the courts rather easily, but to do so they need to know they can support this child’s food, clothing, education, and medical care long-term financially. To fully financially support Hope – for clothes, blankets, caretakers, medical care, shelter, and education when she is old enough - $120 a month is needed. The staff of this home have already given so much, but they are unable to give this amount long-term as so many are suffering themselves to provide food & education for their own children. If anyone can sponsor her fully, partially, or even just give a onetime donation towards her care please email me at sblovesjesus@gmail.com Maybe you can only pledge a one time donation of $120, or you can pledge $20 a month for her – everything helps! If you are unable to give financially, please I ask you to pray for this precious one, that God would provide a loving home for her to grow up in and that she will not get lost in the corrupt government system or worse end up back on the streets. OUR GOD IS A GOD WHO PROVIDES! He has provided for me, He has provided for you, and now let us join together as the body of Christ to pray He will continue to provide for this precious seven month old child.

“For I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you clothed me...And the King will respond, “Truly I say to you, whatever you did to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” – Matthew 25: 35-40

The first 10 days

I’m not really sure how to describe the past 10 days. It’s been a rollercoaster, a blur. Saying goodbye to my parents at the airport, knowing my Dad was wearing sunglasses inside just so I wouldn’t see him cry and hearing his heartbeat fast as we hugged goodbye. Flying alone the same route I had flown a month before with friends, excited and nervous for what was to come or that I’d miss a flight. Receiving an email in the London airport that my driver couldn’t pick me up at the Nairobi airport and hoping and praying to God He would take care of me as I didn’t know the address I was going or have any minutes on my phone and not sure what to do. Praising God when another driver, David, was able to pick me up and he knew so many Mt. Bethel names it was comforting. David also drove me from Nairobi to Karima and was a true God-send. We spent hours talking about Jesus and praising Him together. I’m completely in awe of a God so big, powerful, and uniting that this man who didn’t receive his first pair of shoes until he was ten and didn’t always have enough food – a life so different from mine – yet in the Lord we were instantly bonded and able to talk and encourage one another for hours. Being overwhelmed by a joyous swarm of kids as I arrived at Tumaini Children’s home on Saturday. Laughing as a chicken that was tithed at church on Sunday was auctioned off, piano still playing slow music in the background. Feeling miserably cold and hungry as ugali & some green stuff I don’t even know how to describe every night isn’t really that filling to mzungos stomachs. Crying as I held and prayed a sick child as she tried to fall asleep because she couldn’t go to the hospital until morning. Laughing as the younger children and I try to teach each other games & dances while the older children mostly watch in amusement of me making a fool of myself. Praising God as Faith, who has been sick since I arrived, was completely healed and we laughed & sang together for the first time. Feeling incredible joy when I made one of the older girls who always has an attitude and hard expression laugh. Leaping for joy when Pastor Jumba was supportive of me needing to spend personal time in the Word & prayer everyday, even if this means I have to start my work day alittle later. Missing the team as I spent the day in Naviasha and realized I was in the same market we had visited before. The people here are so welcoming, so friendly, so wonderful – as so many are completely sold-out for Jesus. I never expected to feel so lonely, yet I think I just miss my friends and family back home who I can instantly have a deep conversation with at a drop of a hat. I know it will just take time to overcome the language barrier and to build relationships with the children and staff here. Honestly, its been harder adjusting than I thought – but each time I come to the point of tears the Lord has someone from home send a text, a child come up to hug me, or a staff member share their heart and testimony for the Lord out of the blew. His is my strength and song and I have never meant that more in my life. I feel completely silly even calling adjusting to the climate, food, and way of life here a struggle because I know there are so many countless others out their more hungery and cold than I – and they don’t have something I have that means everything – a kinship with God who literally is my warmth and food. There are so many things I liked to share, but know its all just a bit overwhelming right now. Please pray for these children. I get angery when I think about how so many were abused or rejected by their parents. I feel overwhelming pain as they share stories of their parents dieing or not having enough money to feed them. I feel like I’m staring at the face of Jesus as I watch the older girls taking care of an infant they found literally abandoned on the street – showing a love to a stanger that maybe they have never known from their own families. And that is one of the biggest joys to me being here – they stress over and over – this is NOT a “Christian organization” or “Christian business” – Tumaini is a Christian family. They call their caretakers Aunt & Uncle. They love one another, argue with one another, share with one another, eat, dance, sing, sleep, and play with one another – just like a true family. Pray and sing with me. “Sing to God, sing praises to His name; lift up a song to Him who rides through the deserts; His name is the Lord; exalt before Him! Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home…” – Psalm 68:4-6

Update after the two week young adult trip

I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to start. Its like all my emotions & thoughts are tangled together in one big mess & I’ve been trying to untangle them for a week but not really sure where to start. We experienced so much on our two week trip. So much love. So much beauty. So much poverty. So much pain. So much joy.

The people and land are so beautiful. My small words can’t portray the enormous beauty of the mountains, trees, sunsets, animals and land. Even the stars shine brighter there. Which is something I’ve been thinking a lot about – really the stars shine just as brightly over us here in the US, but because we have all our individual, artificial lights on we can’t see the beauty above our heads every night God lays out for us. I see a huge metaphor in this. Our small lights can’t compare to the beauty I’ve seen, but until we turn off our own lights, our own desires, our own conveniences and give them up for the beauty the Creator has for us we live unaware of the blessings hanging above our heads.

Then there is the people. Oh, the PEOPLE! Faith like I’ve rarely experienced before. No clean water, no clean floor, no clean clothes, no clean bathrooms – doesn’t damper their spirits! They know and trust God as Provider and Protector in a way I’m truly jealous. There faith is so trusting, like a child who doesn’t hesitate to jump off the pool edge for the first time into their Father’s arms – its not even a question, the Father reaches out His arms and they jump! And they dance! And they sing! And they love! Every place we went to we were welcomed with open arms and hearts. And we ate their food and slept on their floors – totally in their way – and they counted it all a joy. I observed people who are loving, joyful, and hopeful even in the most desperate, heartbreaking circumstances because they cling to & know a King who loves them overwhelmingly. And this same love is over our heads every day – too many days do I miss it. One specific example of the people’s faith and the Father’s blessing I would like to share with you was electricity coming to the orphanage Strong Tower. I think about a month prior to our arrivial the headmaster of Strong Tower when to the electricity company to see how much it would cost to get electricity installed – he was told millions. He walked away knowing they could never afford that – so he prayed and asked the caretakers & children to pray with him. A few weeks later they saw men drills holes on the road coming up to their property – but they didn’t ask about it. Then the men drilled a hole right on their property – so he went to ask what they were doing. “We are putting in poles for electricity.” They explained. He told them they could not afford the set up fees for the electricity. They asked, “Is this the children’s home?” He replied yes, and they explained everything was taken care of, they would only have to pay a $2,000 shilling set up fee – which is about $27 US dollars! Praise the Lord!! I know however this happened it was a direct answer to their prayers!

And then there is the poverty. It still makes me so angry I want to scream!!! Who am I that I was born into a family with clothes, education, food, water, my own room, my own phone, my own car, etc? One day we visited a slum that was poverty like I’ve never seen before. Each child you picked up was soaked with urine because they couldn’t afford diapers or even to wash clothes regularly because water was so precious. When we were walking around I stopped to talk with a teenage boy – I’d guess about 12. We had to keep moving so I said goodbye. A few minutes later he popped up again and handed me a baby. It was obvious from holding him the baby had a high fever. I didn’t know what to do – so I started to pray over the child. We didn’t have any infant medication with us. I saw a few older woman just staring at me as I held the child. Then I turned back to the boy and gave the baby back – but I’ll never forget his face. I could tell he was hoping I would fix the situation. After all, hadn’t I come to help? I was obviously well fed, showered, and had no tears or rips in my clothes – a real queen by their standards of living. The boys’ face still haunts me. He wasn’t looking for a handout – he handed me a baby – and I really believe I could've taken the child away and no one would’ve stopped me. How does a family’s finances became so desperate where something like that could happened? Why wasn’t I born into that situation and they were? I’m sorry I don’t have a happy-ending to this section because they are still out there. Thousands, maybe even millions of people living in this poverty. All I can say right now is I’m praying God will show me how He wants me to respond. What can we do with our financial blessings to save lives? After seeing Compassion International in Ecuador and Brightpoint in Kenya in action on the ground, child sponsorship seems like a really good place to me for us all to pray about starting.

I have more I want to share, I'll try to update again soon. I’d like to finish this entry with words from John Mark McMillian’s blog (yes he wrote “How He Loves”) about his trip to Africa – I think these words express my knot of emotions and thoughts better than I can right now:

“I wish I had a great way to "wrap this one up", but the truth is that it's almost impossible to bring any resolve to this blog when I'm totally unresolved in my heart. Meaning that it's difficult to think about how my Starbucks budget alone can feed a kid for a year, and my car payment can send a young Ugandan man or woman to law or medical school. I guess what I would have to say is that it isn't the level of poverty that blows me away it's our level of ignorance.

Don't feel guilty. Feel informed. Feel empowered. And for God's sake do something about it.

You can help.”

http://www.compassion.com/about/where/ecuador.htm

http://www.brightpointforchildren.org/wherewework.php?location=kenya&partner=goa

Leaving on a jet plane...

It's HERE!!! It's HERE!!!! So today is the day I leave to go to Kenya for the first time!!! Finally, the unknown will become known - pictures & stories will turn in to hugs & face to face conversations :)

Please lift up a prayer of peace for my parents and a prayer of guidance, protection, and wisdom for every team member of the Mt. Bethel Young Adult Kenya Team June 3-17!!

Gaylyn Kelly

Joey McLaughlin

Lisa Slade

Nic Slade

Carey Akin

Whitney Abernathy

Aharon Najafi

Amanda Granberg

Brennan Kelly

Jessica Michel

Dana Mayfield

Kevin Harper

Emily Martin

Reece Chapman

Nathan Dickens

Kellee Gorski

Sarah Beth Holt

Austin Harper

Janna Chapman

Love you all - cya later!

What is a missionary anyway?

So as I'm packing up my bags and making a final shopping list for Kenya, I can't help but wonder what is a "missionary" really anyway? So often that term is used in association with someone going over seas, but I do not feel more like a missionary just because I'm about to board an airplane. I believe I was a missionary in East Cobb before I will be a missionary in Kenya. And sure, people could easily ride off my being a missionary in East Cobb with being a church staff member, but I believe I was a missionary before I had that title officially placed on me by the church. I was a missionary at UGA, before that Samford, before that Walton, before that middle school, etc. How can I make such a bold claim? Simply because I was living my live for Jesus and sharing Him with others. Not because I was perfect. No title or plane ticketed needed - all that is needed is a life submitted to loving & serving Christ first and others over yourself.

Isn't a missionary simply a person on a mission? Can't we all be missionaries? In fact, I believe that every believer is called to be a missionary by Jesus Christ himself. I believe the halls of a high school, a work office, our homes, the grocery store, etc. are just as legit mission fields as the orphanage in Kenya God is calling me to. I don't think Jesus is sitting up in heaven with a ranking system saying, "Wow, Kenya, you get 2 extra points for that one" Yet I feel like some people look at me this way, like I'm up on some pedestal and I can tell you that I 100% do not deserve to be on any pedestal. I don't think there is a geographical ranking system to mission fields - I think the key is just going where Christ calls you too when He calls you too it. Wherever we are, whoever we are with at the moment, that is a mission field. Chillin at a movie theater? Shopping at Target? Eating at Willys? Yep, all mission fields.

In case your still skeptical of my words (which you should be because who am I than just a sinful man?) I encourage you to take a look at a certain part of Scripture where I'm getting my ideas anyway. After Jesus rose from the dead (YAY!!!) and before He rose up to heaven again, He said this to His disciples, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea & Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." -Acts 1:8 Notice Jesus starts with Jerusalem, the town the disciples were currently in! Jesus is telling them to start where they are - live empowered by the Holy Spirit (which dwells in every true believer) - and start spreading the good news about me to others as He leads them.

"You don't have to cross the sea to be a missionary, you just have to see the cross." Praying we all will live empowered by the Holy Spirit to spread the fame of Jesus wherever He calls us to...

JOY is not faking a happy smile – “Billy”

Ever since I’ve announced God’s calling on my life to move to Kenya, “Billy” (name changed just in case he would prefer not to be mentioned in blog form) has greeted me by first punching me on the arm, scrunching up his face in anger, and declaring “I’m mad at you for leaving!” Then instantly his face softens and he smiles and wraps his arms around me for a big hug and says “I love you.” I always smile, hug him back, and say “I love you too” inwardly in awe of how this boy is outwardly expressing how I myself feel about leaving.

Tonight I wonder how it is that I had enough strength to respond YES to God’s call to move to Africa, but I am terrified of cleaning my office desk out tomorrow. Tonight my heart is broken – I do not want to leave the students, families, staff, and ministry I love. Beyond that – this church is not just my job, it is my family, it is my home, it is where I came to fall in love with Jesus. To me being joyful in the Lord is not faking a happy face and pretending leaving is easy for me – its looking at the reality of the situation, the good, great, bad, and worse and knowing its all worth it because I’m following Jesus – the Savior & Lover of my life. To me – in this moment – following Christ is hard, but my joy in Him is solid in knowing “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

Rationally I know that one chapter of my life must end for another to start – now I’m just waiting for my emotions to catch up with this realization. I hope this post doesn’t discourage you. I hope in some weird way my honesty would be an encouragement to you. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way we expect it – yet I’m here in midst of my pain declaring loudly PRAISE JESUS ITS WORTH IT! I find huge comfort in knowing that whether on earth or in heaven I will see, hug, laugh with, dance with, and talk to my Mt Bethel family again face to face. Beyond that – tonight I hide myself in Jesus’s loving arms taking comfort that “ in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Please don’t misunderstand, I do not doubt the Lord has called me to Africa. I am not backing down, I’m still giving my all to walk this out. I know I will face incredibly hard & terrifying moments, but I also know I will experience moments of joy in living out His love beyond anything I’ve experienced so far. I’m so grateful God has spoken His will to me and to be on my way to living it all out for Him. Tonight, ask Jesus to speak to you – ask Him what He is calling you to do – and no matter how easy or hard I pray you will say yes. Also, I highly recommend reading Romans 8!!

His voice

In high school I heard a quote I've always loved: "Live your life as so it wouldn't make sense unless God exists." As people ask me, "So how did you decide to move to Kenya?" I realize my story doesn't make sense unless you believe God still speaks to us - because the reason I'm going is simply because God asked me. I'm going to try to make a long story short and recap how exactly God spoke to me here, but before I do that I want everyone to know God is alive & speaks to each of us intimately today. :) Why the Creator of the Universe would speak to me I'll never know but I'm so happy that He does! So it started back in October. I was on a long car ride & took the time to pray and think over things in my life. During this time I heard God say two things, "Africa" & "Go." I heard Him say those words loud and clear as if He was in the car sitting next to me and His voice hit me like the power of a unexpected boom of thunder. Being a person who likes to plan out things, my mind immediately started going into overdrive! So Africa is a CONTINENT - where specifically was I supposed to go? What was I suppose to do? When was I supposed to go? Would I go alone? I asked the Lord if I was supposed to go buy a plane ticket and go right then? I heard Him say no and He gave me the Scripture of Noah. That the first time the Lord spoke to Noah He basically said, "So there's a flood coming" and later God went back and gave specifics of how many animals, what type of wood, etc. I believe the Lord basically was telling me to get ready and just pray and seek Him while I wait for Him to reveal more details. So I started praying and trusting Him to reveal everything in His time. He also placed James 1:27 & 4:13-16 on my heart in a big way. It wasn't until a month later I received the next detail. While at a conference, Joey prayed over me. He prayed that he saw me at an orphanage though I had not spoken a word to Him about what God had told me. At that moment I remembered my friend Drew had prayed the exact same few sentences over me this past summer and I had forgotten! At that moment I knew God has placed both of these brothers in my life to confirm to me what God was saying directly to me. During the middle of all this Gaylyn had been praying & setting the foundations for a global internship to Kenya - for young adults to serve in orphanages! His voice and Hand in everything was so clear I knew my only response was to say "Yes" or "No" because there was no denying what God was asking! While the thought of leaving my family, friends, and all the students still saddens me at times, I'm excited about taking this walk of faith to see what God has in store for me next! I know I will take everyone here in Marietta with me in my heart to Kenya & can't wait to hear and see the people there for myself in person beyond pictures & other's stories! Why Jesus would ask me to go or choice to use me to love on people on the otherside of the world is still a huge mystery to me, but I'm thrilled to walk hand in hand with Him to share His love wherever He leads!

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